Speaking like a leader

At the end of the day a leader is someone you would follow - that means that they have to instill trust, be decisive and share values. A title doesn't mean someone is a leader.

 

In Judith Humphrey's book "Taking the Stage" she highlights things women are socialized to do that diminishes their leadership. These are the things women need to stop doing:

• Stop apologizing.
• Stop asking for permission.
• Stop minimalizing and being tentative - "just", "little bit", "only", "maybe", "perhaps"
• Don't take everything personal.

Men initiate 75% of all gender based interruptions (and they don't apologize). Men tend to treat discussions as a sports huddle and make sure they get their point across regardless of who is speaking.

 

Women are told not to show off, but to be a leader you need to promote yourself. Women are criticized if aggressive or bossy and need to be able to be assertive and take charge. Start expressing the qualities you value in yourself - e.g. intelligence, passion, conviction, creativity AND think of what type of leader you want to be and use those terms to describe yourself e.g. decisive, focused, confident, strategic, inspired etc. and then become that. Men focus on what they want next and move forward.

 

People need to be ready to make the change from being the "workhorse" to becoming the decision maker. You also need to recognize that it is all politics and you need to make it easy for people to say yes to you.

 

The book spends a lot of time going over public speaking methods - but there are better sources for that.

 

Women need to recognize what voice they are using in business - is it high and child like? too quiet? breathless? Pay attention to your tone, volume, pitch, pace and projection. Speak up and contribute at meetings. Breathe. Some people talk too fast - then need to take breaths and learn ways to deal with people that may interrupt. For people that say "um" a lot (which is distracting and takes away from the authority of the speaker), learn to take pauses and close your mouth. Speak clearly and deliver your message. Be present, authentic and open to the audience - listen to them and pay attention to their body language.

• Prepare a 30 second elevator speech for when you meet executives you want to impress. Prepare for chance meetings.
• Presentations should start with an attention getter - some people can start with a joke or amusing anecdote - as long as it's appropriate for the context. Be specific in your topic. Tell your audience what you're speaking about, give your speech/presentation, then tell them what you told them. The body of your speech can be three key points or a comparison. End your speech/presentation with a call to action - your ask - whether its for budget, approval or a sale.
• Move like you own the space. Never take one step forward or back - it makes you look tentative. Walk with authority across the stage. Stand up straight. Don't close your arms off in a defensive position. Make eye contact. Smile as appropriate - make sure your facial expression is congruent to the subject.

Watch Amy Cuddy's Ted Talk on "Your body language shapes who you are" http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are